The hardest words to say
by kobitah
Summary: Multi-chap. Mostly Emily-centric but with H/P undertones. May become moreso towards the end, I'm not sure. Pretty angsty in the first 8 or so chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Why

A/N: This is a relatively short piece (I think it'll be about 9-10 chapters, so short for most of my stories). It's a bit angsty, but I might (MIGHT) do a little follow-up once the big stuff happens. So please read and review.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Criminal Minds.

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"What is this?" Hotch asked, looking at the file Emily had just handed him. He had to be honest. After everything that had happened in the past four years, part of him wasn't surprised. The emotional rollercoaster that came with being a part of the BAU was more than enough to push anyone. He just hadn't expected it from her.

Emily stood up straight and rolled her shoulders back. She was defiant. She had promised herself she wouldn't get upset, she wouldn't back down, she would stand firm in her decision. And she truly believed it was the right one. Four years was long enough. She'd proven to herself that she could do this job, but she had to do this if she wanted to keep that last shred of self-worth and sanity.

"I'm leaving," she said quietly.

Hotch frowned and shook his head. "I can't approve this," he said, pursing his lips. Emily's jaw dropped. "Can't? You can't approve it? It's not a request sir. I'm leaving the agency," she retorted. Hotch stood and met her eyes. He wasn't backing down either. "Prentiss… just tell me why," he requested.

Emily frowned at the question. Why? Why was she leaving? So many reasons, so many contributing factors, the least of which was the intensity of this job. Too much had happened over the years. Too much heartache. She'd given so much of herself to the team, to their work. And she wasn't sure how much she had left to give. So she was getting out before it was too late.

But the most important reason was something she couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him that working alongside him, day in and day out, was too much. She couldn't bear the thought of standing by to watch him disintegrate. Gideon's leaving, Strauss' vendetta, the explosion that still effected his hearing, Foyet, Hayley… all of it. Emily had cared about this man for so long and she couldn't stand to think about the day that he would no longer be there. The day that he stopped. So she had to cut and run. It was all she could do to stay alive.

Of course, she couldn't tell him any of this. She couldn't tell him about her fear of losing herself to this job. It demonstrated a vulnerability she refused to show him. And she couldn't tell him about her fear of losing him, of watching him disappear before her very eyes. That in itself held too many implications, too many feelings and emotions that she knew she would never display. Especially to him. So she shook her head and stayed silent.

Hotch wrinkled his brow. He couldn't sign the papers. He couldn't lose Emily. He rolled his eyes inwardly and glanced upwards. Hadn't he lost enough already? He looked back at Emily with pleading eyes. "Emily," he said quietly, begging her with that one word. Her name.

Emily shook her head again. "I'm just… leaving," she said sternly, folding her arms across her chest, "And if you don't sign it, I can go straight to Strauss." She had anticipated this situation and had printed off two copies of her forms. Just in case. And by the look on Hotch's face, she would need the second copy.

Emily had to admit she was secretly relieved with his opposition to her resignation. It showed that, maybe, her feelings were somewhat reciprocated. To put it into a few words, she would definitely say she cared about him… maybe even loved him. But she couldn't go down that road. It was scary and dark and unchartered. She couldn't give that part of herself away, knowing that she might get nothing in return. But this… this fight he was putting up… it made her heart skip a beat.

Until he sighed and leant over his desk, putting pen to paper, and signed. He had given up. Emily was shocked. She had been mentally preparing herself to go to Strauss. But now she wouldn't have to. And while Emily may have hated the idea of more face-to-face time with the evil woman, she would've preferred that to watching Hotch agree to her resignation. He had never been one to give up so easily and the ache that caused in Emily's heart almost made her stumble.

She closed her eyes briefly, willing herself to remain calm. When she opened them, she leant over and took the papers from his hand. "You're no longer an agent of the FBI," he said grimly. Emily wrinkled her brow and nodded. "Thank you, sir," she replied, turning to walk out.

Hotch opened his mouth to call her back and tell her that he would miss her, but he stayed silent, watching as she walked down into the bullpen and sat at her desk. It was only 10am, and Emily had said she would stay until the end of the day. So Hotch figured he still had some time to say goodbye. He sat back in his seat and put his head in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2: Blog!

Emily knocked on Garcia's door and keyed in her code, before walking inside. Her friend turned in her seat and shot a sad look in Emily's direction. "I've already managed to convince you to stay once. You sure I can't do it a second time?" she asked. Emily shook her head and smiled as Garcia pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry," she replied, "And you didn't convince me. Hotch did."

Garcia pulled back and wrinkled her brow. "But I put the idea in his head. So I take full credit," she retorted. Emily smiled and nodded. "Of course you do," she replied. Garcia pulled Emily into a chair and sat down in her own, facing her. "So why?" she asked bravely.

Emily shook her head. She'd been asked this question already, by both Hotch and Strauss. And both times she'd answered with a lie. This time would be no different.

"I just want a change of pace. I need to live a little and the BAU doesn't give you much time for that," she replied. Garcia nodded and Emily breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was worried that her answer wouldn't satisfy her friend, but she wasn't about to tell her the truth.

"So do you know what you're going to do?" Garcia asked. Emily shrugged and sat back in her seat. "I don't know," she replied, "I have a heap of money saved up so I was thinking I'd spend some time overseas. There are a few places I didn't get to go while I was growing up so… who knows?" Garcia smiled and nodded. The penchant for travel was something they both shared, though Garcia had fewer stamps on her passport than her good friend.

"Well, make sure you keep in touch," she ordered. Emily nodded and grinned. "I'll let you know my blog address and you can keep up to date on my adventures," she replied. Garcia grinned and nodded. "You need help setting it up?" she asked. Emily nodded and smiled. "Sounds good," she replied. Garcia grinned and turned in her seat, opening various windows and explaining to Emily the intricacies of blogging.


	3. Chapter 3: Understand

Emily sighed and walked down the hall from Garcia's bunker. She had stayed a little longer than she'd intended, giving in to her friend's begging to start on her blog. But she was glad that she'd spent a little more time with her. It would make it a little easier when five o'clock rolled around.

Emily glanced at her watch and sighed. 11:30. JJ should definitely be settled in her office. Maybe she could drag her friend out for a short coffee. Emily really needed the caffeine boost and the atmosphere in the coffee shop would be a much better place to break the news to her other girlfriend. She tapped on JJ's doorframe and walked in.

JJ looked up and smiled. "Hey. What's going on Em?" she asked brightly. Emily smiled and tipped her head towards the door. "Do you have time to take a break? I was thinking lattes," she asked. JJ glanced around her desk. The usual piles of case files and consult requests. They'd been sitting there for hours, wouldn't hurt for them to stay there while she went for a coffee. She nodded and smiled at her friend. "Sounds good," she replied.

As they caught the elevator downstairs and made their way through the grounds, the two women talked about regular topics. The weather, Henry, Emily's strange relationship with her mother, and of course any prospects she had in her social life. Emily chuckled and shook her head. "I stand by my hypothesis that you and Garcia snared the last good men," she joked, "In Virginia anyway."

JJ laughed and opened the door to the café, walking through and following Emily to the counter. They quickly ordered their coffees, waited for them to appear on the collection end, and found their way to a spare table near the window. Emily took a sip of her coffee and breathed deeply.

"There's actually something I need to tell you," she started. JJ wrinkled her brow but smiled, nodding. "Sure. You know you can tell me anything," JJ replied. Emily nodded and frowned as she played with the lip of her cup.

"I've resigned. Effective today," Emily blurted quickly, "As of five this afternoon, I'm no longer in the FBI."

JJ's jaw dropped. "Uh… wha… huh?" she asked, wrinkling her brow. Emily nodded and took a sip of her drink. "I don't believe it. Hotch would never sign off on that," JJ argued in disbelief. Emily shrugged and looked down at her coffee. "I don't think he cares," she replied, "And besides, it's not like he has a choice. Strauss would have willingly signed the paperwork if he'd refused."

JJ sat back in her chair and folded her arms. "I don't believe it. I don't believe that Hotch would actually do that," she stated. Emily nodded and smiled, shrugging her shoulders. "Well he did," she replied. JJ leant forward, placing her arms on the table. "Why?" she asked.

Emily sighed. The question of the day. And she was only three team-members in. She still had to speak to Rossi, Morgan, and Reid. She took another deep breath, at this rate relieved to not have hyperventilated by now, and looked her friend in the eyes.

"I can't do this job anymore. The rapes, the murders. The victims, the unsubs. I just… I can't," she explained. While she had lied to Hotch and Garcia, she knew she would never be able to lie to JJ. The woman may not be a profiler, but she could definitely read Emily's behaviour.

JJ nodded in understanding. Her heart was still breaking at the thought of losing her friend. But she understood where Emily was coming from. They saw the most horrible side of humanity and it was only a matter of time before it seeped into every part of you. And she had to get out before that happened. She reached over and squeezed Emily's hand. "I'll approve of this on one condition," she started. Emily looked up and nodded. "That we don't lose touch," JJ finished. Emily grinned and nodded, squeezing JJ's hand. "Deal," she replied.


	4. Chapter 4: Lost

Emily and JJ hugged in the hall near the elevator. "I'll come back in before five to say goodbye," JJ whispered. Emily nodded and smiled sadly. "Good luck," JJ said, before turning to walk back to her office. Emily sighed and looked down the hall. Morgan's turn. She took the first step and was relieved that the following steps took less effort.

"Emily Prentiss. What brings you here?" Morgan asked brightly at the knock at the door. Emily smiled and tipped her head towards his office. "You mind if I come in for a minute?" she asked. Morgan smiled and shook his head, gesturing to the couches near the far wall of his office. Emily smiled and stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

"So this must be serious. You're closing the door. Should I be concerned for my safety?" he joked. Emily shook her head and smiled as she sat next to him. She turned to face him and reached over, taking his hands.

"I need to tell you something but I need you to shut up and listen. Let me get it out before you say anything. Ok?" she asked. Morgan wrinkled his brow, his mood changing immediately. He nodded and Emily took a deep breath.

"I've resigned effective immediately. I spoke with Strauss last night and handed my letter into Hotch this morning," she started. Morgan's jaw dropped and he prepared to speak, but Emily shook her head before continuing. "Now I need you to know that I love you and that you are one of my closest friends. The last four years have proven to me that there are wonderful people in this world. Even with all of the nightmares and the pictures in my mind that may never disappear, you have given me some of the most amazing memories and I know that they are what I'll remember forever." Emily could feel the tears begin to well up in her eyes and she choked as she finished her rehearsed speech, "You're like a brother to me, Morgan, and I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't found you here."

Morgan didn't know what to say. He wanted to scream at her, ask her why she was leaving. But in his heart, he already knew. It was a regular theme in their late night discussions: on the jet, in a bar, in the carpark, in the bullpen. They had both been scarred by their job, and Emily needed to get out before those scars were all she could see.

So instead of screaming, instead of yelling and begging her to stay, he simply nodded. A sad smile emerged on his face and he reached up to squeeze her shoulder. "I understand Emily," Morgan said quietly, "And I feel the same way. You are one of my best friends too, and I don't know how I did any of this without you. I forget what it's like to not have you around." He pulled her into a hug and sighed. "I'm gonna miss you," he whispered. Emily felt the tears slip down her cheek and she wrapped her arms around Morgan's waist. "I'm gonna miss you too," she replied.

When they pulled back, Morgan reached up and wiped his hand across his face. He looked at his hand and winced. "Damn girl. You made me cry," he exclaimed. Emily chuckled sadly and sniffed. "I'm sorry," she replied. Morgan smiled and shrugged. "Just don't do it again," he teased. Emily nodded and squeezed his hand.

"So are you staying in DC?" he asked. Emily shrugged. "I'm not sure. I want to take some time and travel. See some more of the world," she explained. "But while you're in DC, we're definitely going out. Make the most of the time we have," he said. Emily chuckled and nodded. "Wouldn't have it any other way," she replied.


	5. Chapter 5: Honour

Emily walked out of Morgan's office and headed down the hall to the bathroom. She needed to clean herself up. It was now 1:45. She still had to say goodbye to Rossi and Reid, before heading down to personnel to hand in her badge and gun. She sighed as she splashed the cold water on her face and stood up. She shook her head at the sight in the mirror. Not good. And with two more farewells before she felt right to leave, it could only get worse.

Emily quickly walked through the bullpen, ignoring the look from Reid. She needed to save him until last, for reasons he would understand. So with her new resolve and her new dose of caffeine, she knocked on Rossi's door. When he called for her to enter, she pasted on a smile and opened the door.

Rossi looked up from his paperwork and frowned. He wasn't sure if he was ready for this. A man of advanced years, and with multiple marriages behind him, he was well aware that he could've had children. He never had. Nevertheless, the woman who was currently standing in front of him was just as much a daughter as a biological child would have been. And he was sad.

"I assume you've already heard?" she asked tentatively. Rossi stood and nodded, gesturing to the two visitors chairs in front of his desk. Emily sat down nervously. She'd been in this kind of scenario before. Usually it was one, or both, of her parents. She'd done something wrong or she'd disappointed them in some way. The inevitable conversation regarding their feelings on the matter, her feelings on the matter, their need for her to put on a public face to save them from disgrace, and her subsequent punishment: it was all discussed. And it was the same feeling she had right now. The same… but different.

Rossi sat in the seat in front of Emily, and sat back. "I can't say I'm surprised," he said quietly. Emily looked up and frowned. "You're not?" she asked. Rossi shook his head. "Ever since… well ever since Canada. And especially after Foyet. I noticed that your heart wasn't quite in the job. You took risks, you weren't as happy at the end of the case. You weren't happy period," he elaborated.

Emily sat up straight and nodded. "It's true," she replied, "This job has taken more than I can afford to give." Rossi smiled sadly and reached over, taking her hand in his. "Believe me when I say it, I understand," he whispered. Emily smiled and nodded. "I know," she said quietly. She took a deep breath, but Rossi held up a hand. "Me first," he requested. Emily nodded and he smiled.

"I want you to know how much I have loved working with you. You're a strong, independent woman. You are intelligent and can definitely hold your own in this agency. But you haven't lost your ability to care, or show compassion. Even to a killer," he started. Emily could feel her chest begin to tighten. Her hands grew sweaty and her heart began to beat faster. "I never had any children of my own. But I hope that if I did, they would turn out exactly like you. You are a credit to your parents. And it's an honour to call you my friend."

Emily choked on a sob and leapt forward, wrapping her arms around Rossi's neck. "I love you Dave," she whispered, squeezing him tight. Dave smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you too kiddo," he whispered back, "And trust me when I say, it won't be the same without you."


	6. Chapter 6: EMILY

Emily sighed as she walked out of Rossi's door. If she'd been told last week that she would see both him AND Morgan cry on the same day, she would've laughed. But sure enough, by the time she'd left his office, Rossi's face was as tear-stained as her own.

She looked down at Reid, sitting at his desk and typing away at his computer. It was now 3pm. Before she could say goodbye to him, she wanted to get everything packed up and handle the last of the formalities. So she bypassed his desk and lifted the archive box.

As she slowly pulled her personal belongings from the drawers, placing the photo frames and other personal items in her box, she ignored the inquisitive look the younger agent was shooting her way. She knew she probably wouldn't need to confirm his suspicions when the time came, but that time was not now. She had a lot she needed to say to him and it wasn't fair to do it now. So she would get her stuff packed, take it to her car, stop in at HR on the way back to hand in her hardware, and hopefully he would still be there to listen later.

Emily opened the bottom drawer of her desk and smiled. Her own stash of physics magic supplies. She closed the drawer and nodded. A farewell gift for her science-mad, socially-awkward young friend.

Emily finished boxing away her personal gear and placed the box on the floor next to her desk. She put her go-bag on top, ready for her departure. She noticed a few more files on her desk, ready to be handed in. She sighed and picked them up, slowly walking up to Hotch's office. She quickly knocked and walked in.

Hotch looked up and frowned. Emily held up the files. "Last ones. I promise," she joked uncomfortably. Hotch wrinkled his brow further and nodded. "Thank you Prentiss," he replied. He might as well call her Emily. In less than two hours, she would no longer be a member of his team, no longer a subordinate. So his use of her surname as a way to keep her at an arms length would be pointless. But he couldn't bring himself to say her name. It made his lunch want to recoil and it took all of his strength to keep it down.

Emily nodded and handed over the files. "No trouble at all… sir," she replied politely. She wished he would just give it up. She didn't expect to be friends with him once she left, but he could at least be nice and call her by her first name. E.M.I.L.Y. Em-i-ly. One word, three syllables. Was it really that hard to say?

She rolled her eyes inwardly, wondering why she cared so much. Then she remembered she loved the idiot. She had been thinking about it all day, and knew she was kidding herself when she said she only "cared for" him. When the truth was, she loved him. But that was neither here nor there anymore. She would most likely never see him again. And if she did, it would be in a situation where she could just walk away.

She offered him an obligatory smile and nodded, before turning and walking out the door. She glanced at her desk. It was empty now. Her effects were in the large archive box. Her ready-bag was waiting for home time. Her purse sat in its usual place under her desk. And her computer had been wiped of all of her data, ready for her replacement. She sighed and looked down to her sidearm. Time to get rid of it. She took a deep breath and walked through the bullpen, hoping that Reid would realize she fully intended to say goodbye to him before the day was through. She hit the down button the elevator and stood back.


	7. Chapter 7: Goodbye

Emily sighed as the doors of the elevator opened. She had bumped into Strauss in HR, while she was handing over and signing out her gun and badge. It was… cordial, for lack of a better word. While Strauss was probably glad to see Emily leave, the older woman realized she had probably ruined her chances at any esteemed positions outside of the Bureau. Emily's mother had friends in high places and she was highly-respected in the political community. If Emily wanted it so, Erin Strauss could be reassigned to duty in the snowfields of Russia.

But Emily wasn't petty. She was good-natured and respectful. So rather than making any vague threats if Strauss continued her personal campaign against Hotch, she had simply smiled politely, held out her hand, and said goodbye to her former Section Chief. And Strauss had looked a little intimidated. Emily huffed to herself. Good. She made her way through the doors of the Unit and stopped in her tracks. She felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes and her emotions almost got the better of her.

Standing by her desk, the entire team. Even Hotch. She looked at the sad faces and smiled. They really were her family. Each of them was broken in some way, but with each other, they felt a little closer to whole. She took a deep breath and walked towards the small group.

Garcia was the first one to hug her, pulling her close. "Remember. Update your blog!" she cried out. Emily huffed and pulled back, nodding her head. "Of course I will," she replied.

JJ was next. She gave her friend a hug and sighed. "This isn't goodbye remember," the younger agent whispered, "Coffee every week while you're still here. And constant emailing once you're gone." Emily smiled and nodded, squeezing JJ gently. "And you keep me updated on the boys. If they give you a hard time, tell me and I'll make sure they cut it out," she replied.

She went around the guys, giving them each a hug. Morgan, then Rossi, then… Emily looked up at Hotch and wrinkled her brow. She didn't expect a hug from him. He wasn't one for affectionate displays with his team. He had, in the past, hugged a team-mate, but that was in the field, after a potentially fatal situation, where the other person had initiated contact.

So Emily wasn't surprised when he stood still. She sighed and held out her hand, which he shook. "Thank you, sir," she said politely. He inwardly recoiled at the use of the term, but remained stoic and emotionless on the outside. Hotch held her hand a little longer than necessary, failing to find the appropriate words for this moment. He nodded and watched as Emily smiled sadly and took her box and bags from the others.

She turned to Reid and tipped her head towards the door. "Walk me to my car?" she asked. Reid raised his eyebrows and nodded enthusiastically. She hadn't forgotten him! She was saving him until last! A thought popped into Reid's head and he frowned slightly. Oh god he hoped she hadn't written him a letter. He shook his head and followed Emily towards the glass doors.

Emily turned back and looked around the bullpen, her virtual home for the past four years. She sighed. She looked over at the small huddle and felt a tear slip down her cheek. Morgan had his arm around Garcia, who was clutching to JJ. Rossi squeezed JJ's shoulder, smiling sadly. And Hotch was staring at her. Emily couldn't be sure, but she could swear he'd lifted his foot to move, and opened his mouth to say something, but stopped. She frowned and turned back to Reid, who was patiently holding the door open for her. "You ready?" he asked. Emily smiled and nodded.


	8. Chapter 8: Magic

Reid held Emily's archive box while she opened the trunk. She smiled as she took the load from him, depositing it next to her ready bag. She opened the driver's side door and threw her purse across, onto the passenger's seat. When she stood up again, she noticed that Reid's smile had vanished and his expression was one of confusion, sadness, and regret.

Emily took him by the hands and walked to the back of her car. She climbed up on the trunk and sat down, waiting for him to do the same. She reached over and picked up his hand and squeezed it tightly.

"I want you to know that you mean _so much _to me Reid," she started, her voice already faltering, "You're the little brother I never had." Reid huffed and looked down at their hands. "You have shown me that a man can be intelligent, caring, loving, kind, considerate… and still carry a weapon," she joked, "And you have given me four years of endless entertainment. I am so much smarter, and so much happier, having known you."

Reid looked over at her with a wrinkled brow. "I love you Emily," he started. He cleared his throat before he continued. "Growing up, I never had siblings, or close friends. But you have given me both of those in one. You're so caring and I know that you care about me, because you show me all the time." He raised his eyebrows and looked her in the eyes. "I'm going to miss you," he mumbled. Emily turned and threw her arms around Reid's waist. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her tight. "I'm going to miss you too Reid," she replied.

Reid pulled back and looked down at the ground. "So are you going to find another job?" he asked. Emily shrugged and smiled. "I don't really need to right now. I'm going to take some time off. Collect my thoughts. Become a sane person again," she explained. Reid nodded and squeezed her shoulder. "You have to call though. Email's fine, but not enough. You have to let us know how you're going. And drop in sometimes," he ordered.

Emily nodded and smiled. "Trust me Reid," she said, squeezing his hand, "I'm going to do all of those things." Reid nodded and smiled. "Good," he replied. He cleared his throat and looked up at her. "I thought you were just going to leave me a letter and… I didn't think I could handle that," he explained.

Emily frowned and jumped down from the trunk, standing in front of him. He wouldn't meet her eyes so she reached up and touched his cheek, causing him to look up. "I would never do that to you," she said quietly. Reid hopped down and pulled her into a hug. "It won't be the same without you," he whispered into her hair. Emily huffed and pat his back. "Believe me, it won't be the same without you," she replied.

Reid walked Emily to the driver's side door. She climbed in and reached into her purse, pulling out a small package. She started the car and handed him the parcel. "Open this once I'm gone," she explained. Reid wrinkled his brow and smiled, but nodded. "Drive safe," he said. Emily smiled and nodded. "I'll see you later Reid," she replied. Reid smiled and nodded. He watched as she reversed out of the park, and drove away. He clutched the small packet and walked back towards the elevator.

When he reached the BAU, everyone was still there. They were standing around Emily's desk, talking. None of them could believe it. She was gone. Emily Prentiss was no longer a member of the BAU. It was a strange feeling. Surreal almost.

Reid walked straight to his desk and sat down, placing the gift on the tabletop. Hotch walked over and pat Reid's shoulder. He leant on the younger agents desk and frowned. "You ok?" he asked. Reid looked up and nodded, then turned back to the white package. "What's that?" Hotch asked. Reid shrugged his shoulders. "Emily gave it to me," he replied quietly.

Hotch watched, a spurt of jealousy running through his mind, as the young man opened the wrapping. His brow wrinkled when Reid's face lit up. Hotch looked over and frowned.

"Aspirin, a film canister, and water?" he asked. Reid looked up at Hotch and nodded, grinning. "Physics magic," Reid said brightly. Hotch huffed and pat the young man's back. They sat in silence while Reid twirled the canister in his fingers. Hotch stood up straight and looked down at Reid. "You're going to be alright?" he asked. Reid nodded. He looked up as Hotch started to walk away.

"Hotch," Reid called out. Hotch turned and nodded. Reid smiled and held up the ingredients for his rocket. "She'll be ok," he called out. Hotch wrinkled his brow and nodded. "Go home guys. It's been a long day," he said, looking around the bullpen. He turned and walked back upstairs, locking himself in his office.

Reid looked at the ingredients again, before glancing over at the photo of the team, displayed on his desk. "She'll be ok," he whispered to himself.


	9. Chapter 9: Lemonade

This chapter was inspired by a few things. 1. A chapter of Indefinable where Hotch and Jack were in the park; 2. Jim Carrey in a Superman costume at a Coco show (it made me think about TG in his cycling outfit); and 3. A conversation with an old friend.

Please read and review.

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Hotch sat back on the park bench and sighed. It was one of those sunny Saturday afternoons. The ones where he got to spend time with his son, now eleven, and forget about the horrors that he came across the days before.

On this particular afternoon, he and Jack had pulled their bikes from the garage of their new townhouse, and were going for their first ride in awhile. They were on their way home and they'd stopped at the park just down the street. The city had just installed a heap of new play equipment, including one of those massive spider-web-style obstacles. Jack had fun trying to reach the top, and Hotch had fun watching him.

The time alone, and in such a relaxed atmosphere, gave Hotch the chance to let his mind wander. It had been one of those weeks. Hastings, Nebraska. Bodies had piled up and they'd been called in to assist. Brunette women, between 35 and 45. Upwardly mobile with disposable incomes. Professionals. One of the victims, a law enforcement officer. Those characteristics had brought back a flood of memories and images for Hotch and that one name had been popping up in his head all week.

Emily.

It was six years, two months, four weeks, and two days since she'd left the BAU. In the beginning, she had kept in contact with most of the team. In fact… all of the team… except Hotch. He knew he'd hurt her when she'd left. He hadn't been able to cope with it himself, so he'd simply pushed her away. But there was nothing he could do about it now.

He rolled his eyes. Actually, there was a lot he could've done in that time. He knew the others had been in contact with her. Garcia kept them up-to-date via Emily's blog. She'd even sent Hotch the link. But he'd never been able to bring himself to follow it. To open it up. To see how well she was doing without him.

But the others had kept him informed. They had all talked about her over the years, each time there was a new update. Each time one of them heard from her. Then, three and a half years ago, it stopped. The updates, the blog postings, the postcards. It all stopped. And now, they knew nothing. None of them had heard from her that whole time.

And Hotch couldn't help but wonder why. Why hadn't she kept in touch? Why had she stopped? Why had she shut off all modes of communication with the team? He shook his head and stared up at the sky. Maybe he should call her mother and just check that she was, at least, still alive.

Hotch looked down as Jack was walking back towards him. He smiled at his son and Jack smiled back. Just as he was climbing down from the elevated playground, Jack glanced to his left and saw a small girl, only about three years old, trip and fall on the gravel. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes as she pushed herself up from the ground, but she didn't give in to them. Instead, she brushed her hands together and wiped the back of one against her eyes.

Jack, seeing the small child, rushed over to her and knelt in front of her. "Are you ok? Did you hurt yourself?" he asked. The little girl nodded and her bottom lip poked out in a pout. Jack frowned in sympathy and held her tiny hand, brushing the gravel from it.

Hotch jumped up from his seat and ran towards the two kids. When he reached the small huddle, he put his hand on Jack's head. "Everything alright here buddy?" he asked. He was shocked when he noticed the eyes that looked up at him. He knelt down beside the Jack and brushed his thumb over the little girl's cheeks, wiping away the tears and dirt. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but he could've sworn she looked like someone he knew. He was about to ask where her parents were when he saw her look over his shoulder and her face lit up.

"Charlie. Sweetheart, are you ok?" the woman asked. The small girl sniffled and nodded as her mom pulled her against her chest. "I'm ok, Mommy. I just felled a little bit," she said brightly, "And he made me all better," she added, pointing a chubby finger at Jack. The woman smiled at Jack, "Thank-you," she said quietly, nodding. Jack smiled and nodded, but wrinkled his brow when the woman looked at him strangely.

Hotch frowned when he heard her voice. His heart started to beat through his chest and his breath caught in his throat. It couldn't be. It wasn't possible. He looked at Jack, then took a deep breath, turned, and saw her.

Emily. Emily in DC. Emily in DC with a kid. He watched as she held her daughter close and brushed her fingers through her long, dark curls. That's where he knew her eyes from. She was Emily Prentiss' daughter. Emily had a daughter!

"Strong and independent. Just like her mom," Hotch said, watching the mother and daughter. He still couldn't quite believe it. Was the world really that small that it was a Saturday afternoon, two minutes bike-ride from their DC brownstone, and he "bumps into" Emily Prentiss?

"Hotch?" she asked, looking up when she heard his voice. She couldn't believe it. Her palms became sweaty and her heart started to beat faster. That's where she knew those dimples! Hotch. She looked at the young boy and grinned. And Jack! Wow! He was so big now!

Emily sat up straight, still holding Charlie on her hip, and threw her arms around Hotch's neck. He was a little surprised at the contact, but put his arms around her waist. They just knelt there, hugging, for a few minutes. It was as if each of them had needed the other, and there they were. They pulled back when Jack cleared his throat.

Hotch was grinning and looked at Jack, then back at Emily and her daughter. "Uh, you remember Jack don't you?" he asked. Emily nodded, smiling, her eyes wide in surprise. "Of course I do! I'd never forget Jack-in-a-box!" she replied brightly. Hotch chuckled and nodded. He looked at Jack and refrained from laughing at the confusion on his face. "Uh, Jack. Emily and I used to work together at the BAU," he explained, "She babysat you." Jack nodded and smiled. He remembered his dad talking about an Emily, but couldn't remember who she was.

Emily tipped her head to Charlie, leaning into her neck. "This is my little girl, Charlotte," she explained. Hotch smiled and ran his hand down Charlie's back. "She's beautiful Emily. She looks just like you," he said quietly. Emily smiled and kissed the top of Charlie's head. "Everyone says that. Though I can definitely see her Daddy in her when she's throwing a tantrum," she joked. Hotch wrinkled his brow. "D-I-V-O-R-C-E-D?" he asked. Emily shook her head. "Sort of," she replied, "I'll explain later," she added, biting her lip. Hotch frowned, but nodded.

He stood up and offered Emily a hand, which she accepted. Hotch put his arm around Jack's shoulder. "So how long are you in town?" he asked. Emily shrugged her shoulders and looked down at Charlie. "I'm not sure," she replied, "Depends if I get the job or not." Hotch wrinkled his brow. "Job?" he asked. Emily nodded. "I've applied for a teaching job at the Academy. It'll give me a chance to work in the field, while still being at home to take care of Charlie," she explained.

Hotch nodded. "Sounds perfect," he replied. Emily smiled and nodded, running her hand down Charlie's back. "As perfect as it could be," she replied, "But when God gives you lemons..." her voice trailed off. Hotch wrinkled his brow and looked down at Jack.

Then he suddenly remembered that he had plans for that night. "I hate to do this, but we have to get going," he said quietly. Emily wrinkled her brow and nodded. "But give me a call if you're free. I know the others would love to see you," he said. Emily grinned and nodded. "I will," she replied. She reached into her satchel and pulled out a card. "Cell's on the back," she said. Hotch smiled and put the card in his pocket. He reached over and pulled Emily into a hug. "It's really good to see you," he whispered. Emily turned her head and inhaled his scent. "You too Hotch," she replied.

Hotch pulled away, reluctantly. He waved at the two Prentiss', before following Jack back to their bikes. He climbed on and they took off, heading home. He had a date to get ready for. Stupid Dave and his stupid set-ups. He huffed and turned back to see Emily lean her forehead against her daughter's. Maybe he didn't need Dave's interference anymore. Something was telling him that this was a second chance. He'd be a fool not to give it a go.


End file.
